


going home

by silkskin



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 14:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkskin/pseuds/silkskin
Summary: Aunt May's looking right through him.Peter knows she’s about to say something, so he starts first. “I have to stay behind. I can’t get the kid killed, May.”“And that’s all this is about?” Her words strike Peter like needles. She looks into his eyes knowingly, pityingly, and it’s too much for him to bear.





	going home

**Author's Note:**

> so this was meant to be a warm-up for a milesganke fic i was writing but then sony released the spiderverse script and my hell brain decided immediately after reading it that i'd spend all my time on this instead lol. i'm emo about peter b parker what's new!!
> 
> it's been almost 2 years since i last finished a fic. that's just spiderverse's impact

Despite the chaos, Peter hears the gunshot clear as day. His first thought, panicked and overwhelming, is: _Miles._

Scorpion’s stinger comes at him fast, but he dodges it and jumps up onto the wall of the house behind him. Launches off and kicks the man in the jaw so hard he goes flying into the car across the road.

_Miles, where the hell are you?_

Thwip, double tap, release, and Peter’s in the air. He scans the battlefield. There, Miles, on the rooftop, a black limousine parked out front. A figure with a gun aimed directly at him.

Fear coursing through his body, Peter shoots a web out and yanks the gun out of the way just as it fires again, before slamming himself into the dark figure holding it. He looks up, and relief floods through him as he sees Miles uninjured, though terrified.

The figure’s picking himself back up. Peter shouts at Miles frantically, “Get out of here!”

Kingpin turns to him, angry, and Peter tackles him into the ground. The impact jostles his neck painfully. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Miles lean down and sling a body over his shoulder. Peter thinks vaguely that it must’ve been from the first gunshot. Was that—didn’t Miles say his uncle was coming after them? His arm flares in pain as Kingpin grabs it and tosses him into the air, and Peter only just manages to land back on his feet. His breath comes in shallow pants; he’s not as in-shape as he'd like Miles to think.

He risks one last check to make sure the kid is well on his way, and then Peter turns his full attention to the man in front of him. The Kingpin of this universe is just as hulking and intimidating as he is in Peter’s own.

Peter falls back into his regular, 22-year-old routine. “Man, you’re somehow even uglier in this universe.” There’s a voice in his head that sounds too much like MJ, lecturing him about how quipping isn’t a coping mechanism, for crying out loud. He ignores it.

Kingpin smiles. His voice is deep and unforgiving. “It’ll be fun to kill you again, Peter Parker.”

Peter gulps. His spider-sense is going insane. “Yeah. Well. Second time’s the charm.” Okay, not his best work. He’s not used to everyone knowing his name like that.

He jumps up, feinting a kick that Kingpin stops for, before swinging out to the side and throwing the momentum into a strike aimed at his neck. Kingpin blocks it easily. Peter dodges a punch sent his way, and swings up for a real kick this time, only for Kingpin to grab his foot and slam him into the sidewalk. Pain lances up from his waist, and he coughs harshly. Kingpin's faster than he remembered. Or maybe Peter’s just getting old.

Roll to the side, block, hit back, get up.

Peter webs Kingpin's feet to the ground, finally landing a punch to the brute's jaw. It’s like punching a brick wall. He lets out a flurry of blows as Kingpin struggles to disentangle himself from the webbing. Kingpin growls. Peter’s arms ache, but the brick wall’s crumbling, at least. He kicks off Kingpin’s shoulder and aims at his temple for a final blow—and pain lurches up Peter’s spine as he glitches. He tumbles to the ground; his whole body suddenly on fire. Kingpin backhands at him, and it sends him into a wall.

Peter’s ears are ringing. Kingpin’s managed to tear off the webbing holding him down. The wall is rough under his fingers. Get up.

He shifts his feet underneath him, kicking off the wall and slamming Kingpin with his whole body. It barely sends him back a few inches. It does, however, pop Peter's shoulder out of its socket. He strikes at Kingpin with his good arm, trying to leap clear in time to avoid another punch. He’s too close. Kingpin swings both his arms down at once, and Peter’s forced to catch at them in a move he instantly regrets. What feels like the force of a battering ram strains at his arms, and he cries out as his dislocated shoulder lights up in agony. Kingpin chuckles, and Peter’s knees collapse.

_Get up get up get up—_

Suddenly, there’s a resounding explosion, and the weight vanishes from his arms. Peter looks up.

Aunt May is standing in front of him, swinging what looks like a giant bazooka. It’s ridiculous. Peter would probably be laughing if he wasn’t still recovering from being crushed. His heart aches. Not for the first time, he thinks about how young she looks. May lets loose another blast, shouting bloody murder. He thinks about how some things never change. He thinks about hugging her again for the first time in 7 years.

He grits his teeth and resets his dislocated shoulder. It hurts. His heart is somewhere in his throat, beating like a rabbit's. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear the wail of police sirens.

Spidey-sense. He ducks as Tombstone is thrown directly over him, slamming straight into the already downed Kingpin.

Gwen lands deftly in front of him. “Peter—Where’s Miles?”

Peter’s breath rattles through his lungs. “He’s gone, I told him to run."

“Oh, thank god.” She’s cradling a gash on her arm. “The police are on their way, we need to get out of here.”

Peter grabs her, suddenly. “Wait, Gwen, something… something happened. I think Kingpin shot Miles’ uncle.”

“What?”

“I didn’t see everything but. The gunshot earlier, Miles took the body—“

Spider-ham appears out of nowhere at Peter’s ankles. “What? A body?”

Gwen brings her hand up to her masked face as the realisation clicks. “Oh god, we need to find him.”

“Find who?” Peni’s voice chirps from inside her robot. Noir is steadying himself on its side as the two of them make their way over.

Noir says, “Miles, right? Saw him hotfoot it outta here with a corpse on his back.”

Peter’s struck with a wave of bitterness. He thinks, not for the first time, about how tired he is. The universe really won’t give any of them a break. “His uncle. Did you see where he went?”

“No, that octopus lady was on top of me.”

“What happened to her, anyway?” Spider-ham asks.

“Aunt May happened.”

Gwen shakes her head. “Guys, focus, we need to find Miles: he has the goober.”

“He could be anywhere in the entire city by now.”

“Are those police sirens?”

“We need to get out of here right now.”

“Wait, we need to find Miles—”

“Everyone shut up!” Aunt May. She’s still holding a bazooka. “The police are on their way, they’ll deal with the villains. You guys need to find Miles, but get into the shed and patch yourselves up first. Before you run willy-nilly into the city, check on Miles’ dorm. Gwen knows the way.”

Silence. Aunt May’s presence seems to have that effect in every reality.

“…Yeah. Thanks, Aunt May,” Gwen says then, for all of them.

She smiles. “Of course. Now go, I’ll deal with the police and be with you in a minute,” she orders, shooing them inside the house. “And I expect repayment from you lot for wrecking my house like this!"

  
  
  
  
  


"You were right," Peter says, distracted as he wraps a bandage around a deep gash in Gwen's arm. The shed is well-stocked with first aid equipment, but the wound's already beginning to congeal anyway. Accelerated healing and all.

Gwen looks up at him. "What?"

Peter thinks about the sheer panic that shot through him when that gunshot went off the first time. Thinks about the horror that sprung up when he saw Miles on that rooftop, petrified and staring down the barrel of a gun. He looks up at the other spiders, trying their best to pretend they weren't eavesdropping. Clears his throat awkwardly. “You were right about Miles. He’s not ready.”

“Peter…” Gwen starts. Peter wishes they’d kept their masks on; he's not sure how he feels about the expression on everyone's faces right now. He’s not sure how he feels about the expression on his own face right now. Aunt May, from where she's hurriedly restocking their web-shooters, is looking at him far too shrewdly for his liking.

"I could've gotten him killed," he says, bluntly, as he ties the bandage off. He swallows the nauseous feeling at the back of his throat and avoids Gwen's eyes. There’s an aching pressure building in Peter’s rib-cage, pushing against his heart.

"He's a smart kid. He'll figure it out." Peni offers him a gentle smile.

"I know.” And he does. He knows without a doubt that Miles will be amazing. But. “But not by tonight,” he says, firmly. Then, “I’ll stay behind instead.”

Gwen stands up. “You don’t have to do that, Peter. I can destroy the collider.”

Everyone opens their mouths again to object simultaneously, but Peter interrupts them first.

“No. I’m staying behind,” Peter says firmly. “I’ve had my time.”

Peni looks indignant. “It’s not about _time_ —”

“Hey, no, enough. You guys need to go home. You people all have something to live for, okay?”

“And you don’t?” Gwen asks, softly.

Peter pulls his mask on stiffly, turning away. Instead of answering her, he says, "There was never going to be a happy ending to this. I’ve made my decision. It’s okay.”

The silence is heavy, but Peter thinks it might finally be some kind of reluctant acceptance. Aunt May is still staring daggers at him from the corner of the room.

“Come on, we gotta go get Miles.” He looks to Gwen. “Lead the way, kid.”

After a moment of Gwen trying to stare him down—difficult when Peter’s refusing to look at her—the team filters out, saying their thanks to Aunt May as they go. Peter’s last, taking his web-shooters from her slowly. The weight in his chest only seems to grow heavier. She’s looking right through him.

Peter knows she’s about to say something, so he starts first. “I can’t get him killed, May.”

“And that’s all this is about?” Her words strike Peter like needles. She looks into his eyes knowingly, pityingly, and it’s too much for him to bear. He breaks eye-contact, and his gaze, traitorous, lands on the picture of MJ at the desk.

She sighs. “There’s no changing your mind, I know. But you, Peter Parker, are a fool if you think that kid’s going to stand by and watch Spider-man die.” Peter thinks her eyes might be wet, but her voice stays firm. “Not again.”

“I know.” Peter can’t bring himself to say anything else. Not around the pain in his chest that’s sewn his throat shut.

“He’s stronger than you think, you know.” Aunt May brings both her hands up to clutch at his. “ _You’re_ stronger than you think.”

Peter’s trembling. He swallows. “Bye, Aunt May.”

She looks at him ruefully. “Goodbye, Peter.” And then, like a promise, “See you later.”

  
  
  
  
  


Peter’s choking.

There’s a vicious smile on Doc Ock’s face as she strangles him, and half of Peter is panicked about dying too early to save anyone, and the other can’t believe he’s going to die in an alternate universe being strangled to death by _tentacles_. His lungs burn, and he flinches away as Doc Ock raises the finishing blow, hoping against hope that someone on the team isn’t too busy to _save his life—_

Doc Ock punches herself in the face.

Peter stares.

Something’s wrong with her tentacle, pulsing erratically as it strikes herself again, phantom blow after phantom blow coming out of nowhere.

Aunt May was right.

There’s a flash of movement at the corner of Peter’s eye, a small blur and the sound of air rushing, and Doc Ock recoils as she’s struck by an invisible force. The tentacles around Peter loosen, and he hears the hiss of web-shooters to the side of him.

And there’s Miles, dressed in a black and red suit that has Peter instantly envious, flying towards Doc Ock and slamming her backwards.

He’s—Miles is _incredible_.

There’s a feeling that wraps itself round Peter’s heart, squeezing hard, and it takes him a minute to recognise it as pride. It swells in him until he’s smiling wide under his mask, until he’s grabbing Miles and blurting out embarrassing sentiments and he thinks, _oh._ This is what MJ wanted.

He hears Miles laugh with pleased embarrassment and he thinks, _this is what I want, too._

The collider roars and bursts in a brilliant lightshow, colours and clusters erupting from the beam in a way that seems to bend reality itself. It looks like the end of the world.

It’s beautiful.

  
  
  
  
  


Aunt May’s wrong about one thing, Peter thinks, as he’s caught between going home and facing Kingpin. He’s not strong enough.  

“I’ll hold him off, you shut this down!” He shouts, leaping from the ceiling towards Kingpin before Miles can object.

He’s yanked back quickly, webbing catching on his arm with a defiant Miles on the other end. The building they land on crumbles underneath his feet as Miles confronts him, and Peter doesn’t know how to explain it to him. Doesn’t know how to tell him that this is what he has to do. That sometimes there’s no other way. He’s so determined, Peter thinks. Miles’ youthfulness shines out in everything he does, but especially in that. There’s a light, a hope in there Peter hates to fight.

“It’s _okay_.” Peter says, and he tries to push all his goodbyes and apologies into the words.

Miles nods, sharply. “Yeah, it is okay.”

Peter gasps as his legs are swept from under him. He hangs off the side of the building in a painfully familiar position, building tilted underneath him as Miles becomes the only thing holding him up.

“You gotta go home, man,” Miles says, and the look he gives Peter tears at him; bares him open until he finally lets the fear show on his face.

Because that’s it, isn’t it? Peter’s so, so scared.

And Miles can’t—Peter’s just not ready yet. The empty air beneath him burns at his back. He grasps tightly at the arm holding him, the only tether connecting him back to safe ground. “How do I know I’m not gonna mess it up again?”

Miles looks knowingly at him. “You won’t.”

And that hits him hard enough for a puff of laughter to escape. This kid won’t ever stop surprising him.

Peter lets his arm drop, bracing himself for something he doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready for.

Miles lets go.

As Peter falls, he takes in one last look at Miles Morales, no longer in a cheap imitation of a costume, but in a suit so remarkably _him_ that it makes Peter’s heart ache. He thinks that this universe is so lucky to have him.

Peter smiles as the colours burst over his vision.

“Not bad, kid.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Peter’s terrified.

His hands are sweaty against the brown paper bag of flowers. He hopes he’s not staining it. Gross. He stares at the plain white of the house in front of him. MJ’s flowery curtains stare back. He checks the time on his watch for the forty-second time this morning; it blinks back a neon 9:41am. When’s the last time he was awake this early? He’s in a suit he found on sale at Walmart, and it’s probably the nicest thing he’s worn for months.

God, he can’t do this. The words of his pre-arranged speech are already scrambling out of order, vanishing on his tongue. He hasn’t seen MJ in months. Not his MJ, anyway. Confessing his heart to an alternate universe MJ was easy when he was about to die. This is so, so much worse.

There’s voices echoing in his head; of trembling hands and tilting buildings.

Peter takes a deep breath, like he’s about to dive underwater. He shoots a web at the doorbell, and the sound of it rings clear into the crisp morning air.

It’s a leap of faith.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on my twitter [here](https://www.twitter.com/kindiespark), and my tumblr [here](https://www.kindlespark.tumblr.com) (though i'm not as active).


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